bradmajors: oreos: those delicious cream-filled cookies that don’t mind letting people know they’re down with freedom and equality for all. or, according to some people, oreos: those nasty rainbow cookies that are going to hell and will brainwash your children into becoming sexual deviants.
crzyblackidd: Remember when my blog was shitty? Yeah neither do I
porrifeelinweird: clearly-misunderst0od: why cant america just use celsius it’s so much easier to spell than feiehreirheineiheit Because Fahrenheit starts with an F for FREEDOM, not a C for COMMUNISM loooool
heronqueenblues: on the outside I may appear like an emotionless sarcastic piece of shit but just like an onion when you peel off more layers you find the exact same thing every single time and you start crying
tsundereroma: missionkimpossible: we all started out as spongebobs and patricks but we all eventually evolved into squidwards smartest thing I have read today
picking my kid up from school in 25 years
me: get in loser, we're going shopping
kid: omg mom
me: i'm not like those other moms, i'm a cool mom.
kid: please stop
me: boo, you whore!
You know what's kind of beautiful?
wwreakinghavocc: timorleste: In French, you don’t really say “I miss you.” You say “tu me manques,” which is closer to “you are missing from me.” I love that. “You are missing from me.” You are a part of me, you are essential to my being. You are like a limb, or an organ, or blood. I cannot function without you. in america we don’t say i love you 4ever we say i love you 5ever (dat means...
hummelanderson: one time in junior high i was talking with a boy on instant message who liked me and i was like hey want to see a picture of me in the shower and he was like omfg really yeah and i sent him this i thought i was so funny
Fuck high school. I invited EVERYONE to come over to come drinking and NO one showed up. Like really? It fucking pisses me off.
Oh yeah, I’m definitely bisexual– My “straight” friend
literallysame: if you ever think your timeline is bad/embarrassing just remember it could be a lot worse yes it could be
queerhairyvag: thefoxxypoet: beinghumanshard: ethereal-eyes: cru-jones: thetoshira: noorcissistic: White privilege is Microsoft Word not underlining your name in red. Priceless. This is the best one I’ve seen so far! lol My life in text. This is funny, but my name is pretty damn white…it even means white lol my life. Microsoft werd why don’t you understand
saint-justice: it had to be done, didn’t it…
blckppl: i can’t fucking breathe if you like laughing watch this holy fuck